Mike’s Flying

Yay night rating!

Faro = awesome.

Holding Entries made simple!

(we get taught slightly differently at FTE, but this sure helps you visualise it )

http://www.aviationchatter.com/2009/05/holding-pattern-entries-made-easy/

Mike

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?”

Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!”

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”

Harry: “9.”

Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”

Harry: “36.”

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade”

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions.”

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”

Harry, after a moment: “Legs.”

Ms. Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: “Pockets.”

Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”

Harry: “Pants.”

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?”

Harry: “Coconut.”

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?”

The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, “Bubble gum.”

Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?”

Harry: “Shake hands.”

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?”

Harry: “Firetruck.”

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.

It’s been a while.

As predicted by more than a few people, my dedication to mikesflying.com waned after a couple of months. This will not do. I’m resurrecting the site and the blog as of now – with a new resoloution to blog at least once a week – if not more. Luckily now I’m stuck into Phase 2 of my training and I’m actually being allowed behind the controls of real aircraft I’ve got a whole lot more to write about. I can’t guarante insightful, eloquent or even particularly interesting prose, but I can guarantee that I’ll enjoy writing my humble submissions.

So, given that I’m going to keep this fairly concise, I’ll fill you all in on the last few months:

Feb: Study leave, revising for JAR exams.

March: Sat JAR exams and…

Passed them all! marks as follows:

• Principles of Flight: 80%
• Aircraft general Knowledge: 95%
• Mass and balance: 100%
• General navigation: 91%
• Meterology: 83%
• Radio navigation: 92%

This give a nice healthy average of 90.2%.

April: Start Flying! Complete my First solo on my 10th hour – and christen my new callsign: ‘Cygnet 315‘

May: Not such a happy month. The month got off to a bad start when I broke up with Andrena. It’s a long an involved story, and for both of our sake I’m not going into it all here. Suffice to say that being run-off-my-feet busy with flying and work here in Phase 2 leaves me wonderfully little time to dwell on it all. On the up side I’ve accrued a few more solo hours and I’ve also started Instrument flying in anger.

Well, that’s you brought quickly and roughly up to date, I’ll be back soon!

26 sayings that indicate the ideal, synergystic working relationship:

1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of crap.
2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.
3. How about “never”? Is “never” good for you?
4. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
5. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
6. My toys! My toys! I can’t do this job without my toys!
7. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
8. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
9. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
10. Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
11. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
12. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
13. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
14. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
15. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
16. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
17. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
18. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
19. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
20. No, my powers can only be used for good.
21. I’m really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
22. You sound reasonable……time to up my medication.
23. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
24. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
25. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
26. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

And now Useful Expressions for those High Stressdays

1. I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. Do I look like a fucking people person?
4. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
6. You! Off my planet!!
7. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
8. I like cats too. Let’s exchange recipes.
9. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
10. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be…?
11. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
12. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego ?
13. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
14. When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
15. Earth is full, Go home.